First Step

Will you allow an interruption of this play of words,
these talks, presented to hurt yourself?
Endless looping tape of "not good enough."
An internal searchlight casts brilliance
on what you call mistakes.

Light of life shines on your existence,
whether you denigrate
what you take to be you, or not.
It's not you.
Wake up to this foolish, hurtful, musical!
Stop singing this dark mournful song.
Or at least, notice that you alone are humming it.
When everyone else has gone back to work,
loving you just like they always have.

What you took to be you is nothing more
than the flashes of a film streaming by.
Something, not you, focuses on the scary parts.
So what! Let it be. This is not you.
Bring your attention to something so constant,
so limitless, so perfect.
That even your love and familiarity for struggle,
cannot deny it.

What is that undeniable thing?
Not a thing or state, but pure existence.
The awareness of life that never left you.
What is so special about that?
Nothing! That is the gift, the joy. The treasure.
Not rare, not special. Ever here. Now. You.

Breathe and relax.
Here you are no matter what happened yesterday.
No matter what decisions visited you.
No matter what thoughts rose up about what could have been.
Actually, no, it couldn't have been.
Get off that horse. Put down the whip.
Notice awareness of life is ever present.

Be still to certainty for a change.
Certainty, for which you so long desire,
is a most painful quest.
Never to be found. Mistaken for love.
Give up certainty for peace, for everything.
Allow a single thought to visit you:
"Whatever I may think, I don't know."
And if you don't know,
then be at peace.
Notice your own life shining out of nowhere.